


two heads are better than one

by shanlyrical



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Troigs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-01-15 02:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18489400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanlyrical/pseuds/shanlyrical
Summary: While watching an Imperial propaganda holo, Fodesinbeed Annodue has a stunning realization.





	two heads are better than one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [primeideal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/primeideal/gifts).



Fodesinbeed Annodue doesn’t usually stand on principle.

That sort of behavior isn’t generally good for one’s health when one lives on a Hutt-controlled world like Tatooine, after all. Principles are liable to get one killed, and if there’s one thing Fodesinbeed values above all other things, it’s his own continued life.

Not that life lately has been all that great. Both of his heads are agreed on this particular subject. Once, he’d been a galaxy-famous podracing announcer and commentator. Now? He’s barely surviving on occasional Huttese-to-Basic translation work that protocol droids usually do better and cheaper.

With four eyes’ worth of hindsight, Fodesinbeed knows, the bad stuff got going long before Palpatine rose to power. When it really went crashing down at maximum acceleration for Fodesinbeed personally, though, was after the Empire decreed podracing illegal. The reasoning was ridiculous. Who cares if humans can’t participate? And it’s not even strictly true! Fodesinbeed was there when Anakin Skywalker placed first at the Boonta Eve Cup – that was a _glorious_ , suns-drenched day if ever there was one, and he’ll never forget it.

Those glory days are gone, though, which leaves Fodesinbeed Annodue standing on one, single, unwavering principle: loathing the Empire.

When he has the energy, that is, which is an increasingly rare occurrence.

“I’m tired,” says Fode.

“Well, _I’m_ thirsty,” counters Beed.

His legs split the difference and steer him in the direction of the nearest flophouse. There’s a fifty percent discount on the standard per hour room rate with a two beverage minimum purchase at the ground floor cantina, which is good deal for skint beings like Fodesinbeed.

(The flophouse drinks-and-room deal isn’t really intended for Fodesinbeed. It’s intended for… Well. But who cares? They take his credits, and that’s what counts.)

“Nap first,” says Fode as they enter the building.

“You have to buy the drinks first, remember?” counters Beed.

Oh. Right. Fodesinbeed heads to the bar to place his order with the barkeep. He’s the only cantina patron at present, so he takes his two pints to a table directly in front of the big holoscreen, which is tuned to an official Imperial channel.

It’s playing a recruitment advert for a Naval Flight Academy. TIE fighters climb, turn, and dive in perfect formation. A swarm of repurposed Separatist vulture droids explode in holoblue-tinged balls of Tibanna gas flame.

“Footage’s sped up,” says Beed.

“Definitely,” mutters Fode. It’s obvious to a Troig’s excellent visual acuity, even with eyelids that are drooping from exhaustion.

Fodesinbeed is disgusted. Podracing didn’t require any artificial enhancements. The thrills were _real_. Does he really need to watch this dreck?

They only recruit full-bred humans anyway. Total xenophobes, that lot. Not that he’d want to join up even if they’d take him.

“Right! Nap time!” declares Fode.

“Okay,” agrees Beed. Alcohol has soporific effects upon Fodesinbeed’s physiology.

“ _Finall_ – hey! Would ya look at that,” says Fode.

The footage on the holoscreen has changed. One of those fancy TIE “Advanced” fighters. Except, this time, nothing’s been sped up. _This_ TIE is actually doing those complicated dips and spirals, and the abrupt changes in direction are happening at what can’t be less any than 0.33 below lightspeed.

“And they say humans don’t have the reaction times for podracing,” scoffs Beed.

“Pilot’s as good as Anakin,” agrees Fode.

“Whatever happened to little Ani?” wonders Beed.

“Joined the Jedi, didn’t he?”

“Empire said they were traitors and executed them.”

“All of ’em?”

“Yeah. Lars’s raising his orphan out by Anchorhead.”

“Ah, poor Ani…”

His exhaustion is temporarily forgotten. Fodesinbeed continues watching the Imperial footage. The TIE Advanced pilot is the real deal. One in five billion at least. And he isn’t just as good as Anakin, either; he’s –

“Hmm. That pilot flies just like Anakin,” says Fode.

“Guess the Hero With No Fear lives on _somehow_ , then,” says Beed.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah…”

“Heeeeey – wait a sec – !”

Fode and Beed are both stunned speechless. According to the holo voiceover, the TIE Advanced pilot is Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith and the Emperor Palpatine’s chief galactic enforcer. Every nonhuman sentient knows and fears that name, including Fodesinbeed. Vader seemed to come from nowhere, arisen out of the burnt ashes of the Old Republic to subdue resistance to the new Empire on half a hundred worlds and systems with violence and extreme prejudice. He led the counterstrike which resulted in the enslavement of the Wookiees of Kashyyyk. If this Lord Vader is actually Anakin Skywalker…!

“Someone should be told,” says Beed. “Knowing this might change something.”

“Lars?” suggests Fode.

“Nah, telling what’s left of that family would just be cruel.”

“The Hutt?”

“Nah. Jabba won’t care. What about the Rebellion?” counters Beed.

“Does the Rebellion even have an established presence onworld?”

“Nah, probably not. Maybe there’s some suns-mad wizard somewhere out in the Wastes who _thinks_ he has important connections, but otherwise… Nah, bet they’ve never even _heard_ of Tatooine…”

He’s going to have to sleep on this, he realizes. And sleep off the alcohol, too. Two clear heads are needed. He’ll figure it out eventually, though, he’s sure; Fodesinbeed Annodue knows he will. In fact, he couldn’t be surer.

“Two heads are better than one,” says Beed.

“Exactly right. We’ve proven that today,” says Fode with a joint-popping neck stretch and a satisfied sigh.

“Right,” echoes Beed.

“Nap time!” declare both Fode and Beed in perfect unison.


End file.
